Previously, we noted the Bible’s teaching
that sexual lust is due to a sinful heart. Consequently, the place to begin in dealing with sexual lust is the
heart. For the unregenerate, this means
a spiritual heart transplant is necessary.
Ezekiel
36:26-27 describe this spiritual transplant like this, “Moreover,
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove
the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My
Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful
to observe My ordinances (NASB).” The
prophet Jeremiah called this the spiritual heart transplant the New Covenant in
Jer. 31:31-37 .
In the New Testament it is referred to in
various ways, for example, John 3:5-8 describe it as being born of the Spirit, and Titus 3:5 describes
it “by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit. Notice that spiritual birth is God’s work and
man does not initiate it. “But as many
as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to
those who believe in His name who were born, not of blood nor of the will of
the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God John 1:12-13 (NASB).” As this verse intimates, one experiences the
new birth and gets a new heart by receiving Jesus Christ.
Once the new birth replaces old unregenerate
heart through faith in Christ, a person has the God-given resources to overcome
the monster of sexual lust. Here is what the apostle Peter says about God
provision:
“Grace
and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our
Lord; seeing that His divine power has
granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true
knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He
has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you
may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that
is in the world by lust 2 Pet. 1:2-4 (NASB).”
Without
heart-change, it might be possible to manage behavior for a time, but eventually
sexual lust will manifest its enslaving, idolatrous power through mental and or
physical immorality.
Unfortunately, the
new birth does not automatically provide freedom from sin. Sin’s enslaving power has been broken, as
Roman’s 6 reveals, but what is true spiritually takes time to manifest itself
experientially. It requires Spirit
empowered effort on the Christian’s part to defeat the old slave-master sin (Rom. 8:13 ). The battle against sin will not end until the
believer’s glorification when they are made like Christ (1John 3:2-3).
How does the believer defeat sexual
lust? First, they must acknowledge and
confess their sin. Secondly, they must
renew their minds. Third, the believer
must practice what biblical counselor Jay Adam’s calls radical amputation.[1] Finally, they must establish accountability. While confession is truly the first step,
steps two through four should be worked on simultaneously. We will now examine these steps in more
detail.
The first step of acknowledgment and
confession of sin is crucial. As
Abercrombie and Skinner say in Wonderful
Counselor, this step seems simple enough but often we resist due to pride
(Pro. 29:23), self devotion (Rom. 1:25 ), a refusal to call sin what it is (1 John 1:8 ) and
sundry other reasons.[2]
Confession is more than simply saying, “I sinned.” Tripp says a person’s confession needs to be
concrete and specific, and not weakened by “if onlys.”[3] God
makes it clear that failure to acknowledge and confess sin is foolish and
spiritually detrimental. Proverbs 28:13
says, “He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who
confesses and forsakes them will find compassion (NASB).” In addition, James 4:6-10
teaches that God gives grace to those who humbly face up to their sin but he
resists those who are too proud to do so.
Of course, we must not forget 1 John 1:9 which promises, “If we confess
our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us
from all unrighteousness (NASB).”
Too many believers have falsely
assumed that once they confessed their sin they have dealt with it
properly. As author and biblical counselor,
Kerry Skinner is fond of saying, “confession is common but repentance is
rare.” Confession of sin is truly just
the first step in overcoming sexual lust or any sin for that matter. Repentance requires that we forsake our sin
and live for God’s glory. Repentance
will not happen if we do not strive to renew our minds, practice radical
amputation and establish accountability.
The apostle Paul wrote to the Roman
Christians, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that
which is good and acceptable and perfect Rom. 12:2
(NASB ).” To the Ephesians he wrote, “that, in
reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is
being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed
in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of
God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth Eph.
4:22-24 (NASB ).”
Every believer needs to renew their minds continually with God’s truth,
but this is especially true for those who are battling the monster of sexual
lust. For our purposes, we look briefly
at five key passages of Scripture that if rightly understood and applied will
equip the believer for victory over sexual lust. Many other Scripture passages speak to the
problem of sexual lust but the five chosen cover the most salient points.
The first key passage is 2 Pet. 1:3-11 . This passage is listed first because it
teaches that God has granted to the believer everything he needs to live a
godly life. Furthermore, it reveals that
believers are partakers of the divine nature and that because this is true they
have already been released from the lust that corrupts the world, including
sexual lust. This passage also makes
clear that it is the believer’s responsibility to be diligent and disciplined
in their pursuit of Christ-likeness. Spiritual growth and victory over sin do not happen without sustained
effort by the Christian.
Next is 1 Thess. 4:1-8 . This passage states in the clearest terms
possible that it is God’s will for Christians to refrain from sexual
immorality. Then it talks about
controlling one’s own body so as not to hurt others or take advantage of them
sexually.
The fourth key passage is 1 Cor. 5-7 . In this passage, Paul warns about the
toleration and dangers of unrepentant sexual sin. Paul demands that the church discipline a
sexual immoral person who is unrepentant. He goes on to teach about how the body belongs to Christ and that sexual
sin for a Christian is a misuse of the physical body and sin against the
spiritual body of Christ. Paul says a
Christian is obligated to bring glory to God through the proper use of their
physical bodies. Then in 1 Cor. 7 he teaches
about the proper context of sexual expression.
The final passage is Eph. 4:17-5:21 . Paul begins by reminding believers of the old
humanity’s corruption from which they have escaped. He instructs them to strip off the old
humanity like old dirty clothes and to put on the new humanity. The pattern for the new humanity is Jesus
Christ. Paul gets very specific about
what to take off and what to put on and he deals specifically with sexual
immorality in Eph.
5:3-6 .
These five passages of Scripture
will renew the believer’s mind if they are thoroughly studied and digested. As stated before, two other steps need to be
practiced simultaneously with mind renewal, and they are radical amputation and
accountability.
Radical amputation is based upon
Jesus teaching in Matthew 5:27-30 . Jesus taught that the sin of sexual lust is
so deadly that one must be willing to deal with it in a radical manner, thus
the illustration of plucking out one’s eye. In the words of Jay Adams, “. . . radical amputation is Jesus call on us
to incapacitate ourselves so that we find it extremely difficult to sin as we
did in the past.”[4] According to Adams, four principles based on Jesus teaching are the
essence of radical amputation. First,
one must recognize they will be tempted to repeat their sin. Second, one must prepare to defeat temptation
in the future. Third, if old sin
patterns cannot be avoided, one must be willing to take concrete and radical
action to keep from falling into sin again. Finally, absolutely nothing must be spared in the process.[5]
How radical amputation looks for a believer
bound by sexual lust will depend upon the sinful behaviors connected to
it. For those addicted to pornography,
radical amputation may mean canceling internet service, cable television,
getting rid of their computer and possibly the television. It could mean avoiding certain places and
certain people. Whatever one can do to
avoid temptation and falling into old sinful patterns, must be put into action.
The
final step for overcoming sexual lust is accountability. Steve Gallagher says, “Sin is running rampant
in the Church because Christians can now live out their lives without any true
accountability for their actions.”[6] Every Christian needs to be accountable to a local assembly of believers
because it is God’s will (Heb. 10:23-25 ). Additionally, they need someone who is fully committed to provide loving structure, guidance,
assistance, encouragement, and warning for the change God is working in their
life.[7] This
person of accountability is especially needed by those struggling with an
enslaving sin like sexual lust. They
need a person like Paul describes in Galatians 6:1-2 . “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any
trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness;
each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one
another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ (NASB).” If the person who is struggling with
sexual lust is married, they must be accountable to their spouse. It may not be prudent for the spouse to know
all the intimate details but they should be informed enough to pray, protect
one from temptation and provide accountability.
To
summarize, the biblical steps for overcoming sexual lust are confession,
renewal of the mind, radical amputation and accountability.
[1]
Jay E. Adams, A Theology of Christian
Counseling: More Than Redemption (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979), 263-266.
[2]Ab
Abercrombie & Kerry L. Skinner, Wonderful
Counselor: A Return to Truth (Fairhope, AL: Biblical Counseling Institute,
2007), 54-55.
[3]
Paul David Tripp & Timothy S.
Lane , Helping
Others Change (Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2000), Lesson 10, 5.
[4]Adams,
A Theology of Christian Counseling:More
Than Redemption, 265.
[5]Ibid.,
265.
[6]
Steve Gallagher, “Breaking Sexual Idolatry (Part 2),” (Jan. 2010), [online],
accessed 20 June 2010; available from http://bibletherapy.com/breaking-sexual-idolatry-part2.html;
Internet.
[7]
Tripp, Helping Others Change, Lesson
12, 6.